


Metaphorically Strilondian

by Luna_Lalonde



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 09:19:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12385323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luna_Lalonde/pseuds/Luna_Lalonde
Summary: Dave and Rose discuss the eclipse together.





	Metaphorically Strilondian

TG: hey rose  
TG: you see that shit the moon is doing

TT: Assuming you mean the dazzling cosmic phenomena that only recurs at a specific locality an estimated 360 to 410 years, therefore rendering us the metaphorical turkey left unchosen for Thanksgiving dinner,  
TT: In terms of luck  
TT: Yes I do see.

TG: i just mean that eclipse thing

TT: Oh, yes I see that too  
.  
TG: its pretty cool isnt it

TT: I do believe this extremely stunning event could be described using your notion of "coolness".

TG: the whole sun just like  
TG: gets blocked the fuck out by the moon  
TG: like the sun went up for the shot  
TG: and the moon came in like  
TG: all stealing the show  
TG: swatting the ball out all the way into the stands  
TG: for some happy as fuck little boy to catch  
TG: and then go home and stick in a shrine for the next year  
TG: keeping idolizing that dude that swatted it his way  
TG: until he finds out eventually that dude got kicked off his team or got arrested for dui or something  
TG: then his whole world is crushed and he has to reevaluate all his goals  
TG: but the funny part is  
TG: he never even knew the name of the guy before he swatted that ball  
TG: so it was a shaky premise anyway

TT: That would be quite ironic.  
TT: And it would seem as well that the potent event would never occur were it not for the unlikely collaboration of two elements.  
TT: Meant to be dueling as enemies for all the minutes spent embraced in competition before, but birthing into life a cogent circumstance, at least on the life of the boy  
TT: If not for such circumstance, the boy may never know either athlete’s name, despite attending the game where they both happen to play.

TG: yea i mean  
TG: i never even heard of the moon before today

TT: I'm sure the oppressive quality of our solar overseer where you live completely diminished the significance of its night time companion

TG: yea pretty much  
TG: the sun is so fuckin hot here rose you have no idea  
TG: im melting like the icecream that kid bought from a shitty concession 10 minutes before the big swat  
TG: all dripping all over the poorly aged man sitting in front of him's bald spot

TT: I feel as though it is necessary to inquire into the nature of the man's reaction to his newfound sucrose stitched hat.

TG: he never got a chance to react  
TG: because like  
TG: the ball bounced off his head into the kids hands

TT: So the plot thickens.  
TT: I can’t imagine this man was pleased with the events taking place, in any case.  
TT: Though it seems the pattern of your narrative dictates that all other occurrences ceased to hold importance once the eponymous ball was swatted

TG: i mean  
TG: i guess you could say that but thats not really the point  
TG: some dudes sore think globe isnt really relevant in this kid’s harrowing story  
TG: a cautionary tale of letting it all go to your head

TT: I don't think that is what you really mean either.  
TT: You’re telling me this story is solely concerned with the boy in the stands, and not the characters and circumstances leading to, trailing from, and of course, including, the “swat”.

TG: well  
TG: thats a big deal too though like  
TG: i said the kid didnt even know those sports guys names  
TG: then he only learned Big Man #1s name  
TG: (aka the swatter)  
TG: and put him on a pedestal at the top of mount everest, reserved only for dudes who achieve max coolness and cant get any higher from there  
TG: rose the other guy isnt even important enough to be called Big Man #2 in this situation  
TG: the narrative drops him quicker than a girl in a horror movie realizing thats not her cell phone, its the monsters oily tentacle hand

TT: Oddly specific and possibly wholly unbased cinema references aside,  
TT: To my understanding, what you seem to be saying is: the swatted sports man deserves a place in the stirring retelling of events just as much as the swatter (aka Big Man #1).  
TT: And that circumstance unfairly shunned the swatted sports man’s entire livelihood, in the way circumstance happens to embolden heros to an overly awesome degree.

TG: yea like, what if the dude that got swatted has some pretty stellar stats  
TG: 390 goals in 17 games or something like that

TT: Is that an impressive amount?

TG: its only slightly above average but Big Man #1 only had like 389  
TG: rose i hope you know that if youve come to discuss sports stats, im your guy  
TG: i know all the point counters, swatting averages, run meters, win ratios, etc

TT: And how does your limitless sport ball statistic knowledge interpret Big Man #1’s statistic as opposed to his opponent? Unforgivably low in comparison, surely, is my uneducated guess.

TG: its downright obscene  
TG: hed have been kicked off the team right after that game if not for the big swat  
TG: mister manager man got him sat down before the game and told him  
TG: ‘now if you dont score at least 100 goals today, yer outta here’

TT: Understandable.

TG: but the thing is  
TG: and this really is the kicker here rose  
TG: its really about to knock you off your feet and leave your rump bruised with a perfect boot print  
TG: you wont be able sit down for weeks rose  
TG: whats really crazy about this whole thing is  
TG: that big swat didnt even win them the match or anything  
TG: they still lost the match despite the big swat

TT: I thought it was a game.

TG: but that swat saved Big Man #1s whole career

TT: Don’t forget about the undying idolization and eventual chaotic downfall for that boy.

TG: yea that too

TT: Why then, do we, vis a vis that boy, place so much importance on such a decidedly trivial event?  
TT: Would it not be more logical, not to mention efficient and sensible, to ignore this brazen show of aggressive athletic showmanship and instead focus on the winning of the game (match?)?  
TT: Or better still, ignore the pretenses of the sport and the similarly unsatisfactorily productive focus on scoring points, and rather the fitness and happiness of said athletes?

TG: dude people dont think like that  
TG: its all about those dramatic moments  
TG: stealing the spotlight and stuff

TT: I find the sun and moon quite beautiful on any other day.  
TT: Merigolden radiance bathing all features of the world it smiles over, bestowing life and light to all it touches. A comfortable glow caresses a face that basks in its light.  
TT: And the false antithesis of the former, a peaceful watcher, a symbol of pearly mutability and wonder.  
TT: Why then do so many eyes turn to look only when one blocks out the other? This event includes neither of what makes each so definitively significant and beautiful, although it does create somewhat of a show.

TG: rose you were just talking about how this shit only happens once every 400 years or something  
TG: its not that hard to figure out why people are so interested  
TG: i do agree though  
TG: the moon is really nice  
TG: to look at i mean  
TG: and the sun is straight up oppressive  
TG: but theres like  
TG: beauty in that too i guess  
TG: some kind of awesome power you know?

TT: Yes I think I do.  
TT: Is it not frustrating though that the comeliness of both features of the sky are neglected for the vast majority of their existence by us who pass below them yet on this momentous event where they morph into a new spectacle together?

TG: yeah youre right  
TG: that is pretty shitty  
TG: why didnt that kid even care about the sports match until he got that ball smacked at him  
TG: thats not even the point of the game  
TG: the sport isnt called “swat-ball-at-little-kids ball”  
TG: its called “put-the-ball-in-the-goal-because-thats-a-score ball”

TT: Precisely.  
TT: Doesn’t that air on the television at a new prime time spot?

TG: yeah, catch it every saturday night after “run-until-you-pass-out sport”  
TG: thats a real fan favorite  
TG: i cant even see the eclipse its too cloudy

TT: Same here unfortunately.


End file.
